Stormwind City, Azeroth – In a truly outrageous turn of events, local resident Hamfist Stonecan found himself embroiled in a heated argument with Captain Morse of the Stormwind City Watch over the fate of his beloved pet goat, Toby. Witnesses described the scene as both comical and bewildering, leaving residents scratching their heads and questioning the sanity of those involved.
The debacle unfolded when Hamfist pleaded with Eriq Nielsen of the Watch, to intervene, desperately exclaiming, "Eriq, do something! Captain Morse has lost his mind!" It appears that Hamfist's outcry stemmed from Captain Morse's intention to seize Toby and have him assessed by an "expert" due to concerns about the goat's potential danger to the people of Stormwind.
Hamfist, evidently fearing for Toby's safety, exclaimed, "Are you going to shoot my pet goat, Captain Morse of the Stormwind City Watch?!" and further defended Toby's actions, stating, "The captain upset Toby. So Toby bit his foot."
While Hamfist's concerns seemed to gain some support from the crowd, not everyone shared his sentiment. Another member of the Watch, among those less sympathetic, chastised Hamfist, remarking, "Toby really shouldn't bite people, Hamfist." However, Hamfist's unwavering loyalty to his goat remained unshaken, as he declared, "See. Everyone loves Toby. Eriq would even quit his job for Toby."
As tensions escalated, Rastien, another watchmember, couldn't help but express his exasperation. "Oh, for fuck's sake, can someone just grab the goat already? It's doing...goat things," Rastien pleaded, clearly tired of the absurdity unfolding before him.
In a surprising twist, Captain Morse made a bold move, demanding the goat be handed over. The ensuing chaos only further deepened the absurdity of the situation, as Hamfist clung to Toby, Toby screamed in protest, and Watchman Nielsen, torn between his duty and his friendship with Hamfist, found himself caught in the middle.
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Eventually, Hamfist reluctantly surrendered Toby to Captain Morse, who cradled the rebellious goat under his arm. However, this did not quell Hamfist's suspicions. He accused Captain Morse of attempting to rob him, alleging that Toby served as his "bank" and fed on coins. Hamfist's claims prompted watchmember Driscoll to express concern, saying, "You shouldn't feed him coins, Hamfist, use a bank." to which Hamfist simply replied, "No. I have Toby."
Amidst the chaos, the fate of Toby the goat remains uncertain. Stonecan's pleas for his return fell on deaf ears, and Toby was last seen being taken away by Captain Morse, who claimed he would take the goat to the Stockades for safekeeping, and a couple of watchembers were seen drag Hamfist off to the nearby lake to dunk him in it for interfering with their work.
As the bewildered crowd dispersed, Hamfist was yelling that he could not swim, a fact several witnesses disproved as they had seen him swim in previous wet and slippery situations.
As Hamfist was "rescued" from the lake, he set off on a mission to get his goat back. Apparently the guards at the Stockade knew nothing of his goat and the mission ended in the Mage District where he assaulted a journalist and a watchman by spraying water on them. He was last seen being dragged off to a nearby alleyway by the watchman.
But where did the goat go? And how many coins did Hamfist feed it? Perhaps checking goat dung around town could make someone rich.