uring the calm night, Wyra (Our new Intern) and myself was leaving the Stormwind Investigations five year anniversary party, celebrating their outstanding work for the past five years. We got accosted in a haphazard way by Corporal Ford of the City Watch. His attitude appeared distraught, signifying him and his lovely companion named Frank, was seeking attention. Like any generosity and kindness you should do with most people beyond their prime ages, we requested an interview with the Corporal and questioned what troubles lied with him, here is what he had to say. Once inside the Command Centre we were witness to a bit of a territorial fight between Corporal Ford and Echo unit, but as Ford raised his commanding voice and bellowed out a "Sod off, we're busy" the Echo units left the room and Corporal Ford was free to tell his story. Corporal Ford: .. right, now they're gone, let's git on to the real deal. Corporal Ford: I was doing the rounds, right? Just like any other day, waltzing about Old Town, waving at me neighbors, scannin' fur miscreants and tax evaders.. H. Lester: You mentioned coffee? Corporal Ford: .. first thing I always do on patrol, Lester- In my defence, he HAD promised coffee, and it had been a long day. Anyway, on with the story.. Unfortunately Corporal Ford turned out to not be the best of hosts, I had a mug of cold coffee thrust into my hands, Light only knows who's mug it was and who drank from it last. I decided to keep quiet about it, the less I said, the sooner it was over and I could get out of there. H. Lester: Go on then Corporal Ford: .. right, so, I go over to the Pig and Whistle for my mid-morning pint, right? .. of coffee. Pint of coffee. Intern Wyra: Oooh, what flavor? Corporal Ford: Anyway, I go in, suddenly, sum- Uh. Bitter. Intern Wyra: Yum! H. Lester: The morning coffee in the Pig is great. Corporal Ford: .. right, so, this tart comes in, says she's the joint's manager, calls herself Red! .. so Lady Red, she tells me: oi, get yer filthy mutt out of my pub. Id like to point out that we are merely printing the very words Corporal Ford used, we do not in anyway condone the use of "tart" to describe Redgwyn, in fact, Redgwyn Hearthland works with us here at the Lion's Roar and writes the "Apple Red" column, a column for advice to the common folk from the common lass, But it is our duty to print the words as they are said, even if we do not agree with them. Corporal Ford: I was outraged! Frank and I have been drinking at the Pig fer decades! Won three belts in the basement, too. Took down a shepherd. H. Lester: New management don't like dogs? in the Pig? shit they got rats bigger than Frank! Corporal Ford: .. that's right! And it's exactly wot I'm getting to.. Corporal Ford: Lester, that nutty manager is tryin' to turn the Pig.. OUR Pig.. into.. a.. A.. . a classy establishment. H. Lester: Uf. Not the Pig! then we all have to start talking bad about another place. Outrageous Again, it is not the official stance of The Lion's Roar that The Pig and Whistle is a bad establishment, just merely that it is, an acquired tasted on the best of nights, and outright deadly on the worst. Oh and also, an interview is not about debating rights and wrongs with the person you interview, its about reporting what is said and urging them to go on. If you have questions about the interview techniques used by The Lion's Roar reporters then contact Editor in Chief, Spazzlefrock Frostcog. Corporal Ford: Outrageous, isn't it? First they're barring pets, then what!? Security at the doorway!? A functional kitchen?! H. Lester: Soup without rat whiskers?! Corporal Ford: Insane, I know. Anyway, that's why I gathered my unit and started a riot. H. Lester: A riot? is that not.. a bit much? Corporal Ford: .. got twenty people on-board, stood outside the Pig fer hours and sang protest songs about Frank; called ourselves the Frank Crusade, we did. Much? It's the Pig! Lester... Old Town has a voice! A loud one, too! And this snooty management shall hear our working class throng echo within the chambers they are corrupting! H. Lester: How did they handle that? the management I mean Corporal Ford: Didn't do nothing! .. they just sat inside while we screamed and shouted! Boycott the Pig! Down with the Pig! Which side are you on, boys!? Make public houses PUBLIC again! .. and that's only the beginning, Lester. I want to deliver a public message to that bint, Lady Red, from the entire population of Old Town.. For a man representing law and order in Stormwind, then his use of adjectives (Editors note: words which describes an animal, person, thing, or thought. Like a patronising editor) are not the most diplomatic ones, but it was starting to become clear this was less of an official matter, and more of a private matter. We are actually not even sure his dog agrees. H. Lester: Yes? what is the message? Corporal Ford: .. we're not going to rest until you let Frank in the Pig! This is only the beginning! We shall liberate the Pig and make sure my dog and everyone's dog can drink there, freely! I have a dream, Lester.. Corporal Ford: .. I have a dream, that one day, pets and owners alike will be able to guzzle down hooch, arm-in-arm. H. Lester: Free drinks for dogs? what is Frank's favourite beverage? Corporal Ford: Bitter ale! H. Lester: A dog with taste. Corporal Ford: .. that's what we want: free the Pig! We won't rest! That's wot I had to say. When asking around in Old Town we could not find anyone corporating Corporal Ford's story, and the management team referred to by Ford had nothing to add to the story besides calling his actions a disturbance to legit business and suggested the man focus his efforts on catching criminals instead of harassing legitimate businesses. A quick tour of the bars in Stormwind by our intern lead to the following conclusions: Of all the bars in Stormwind (The Golden Keg, The Pig and Whistle, The Shady Lady, The Slaughtered Lamb and The Blue Recluse) the rules vary when it comes to pets being allowed on the premises. As we have learned then The Pig and Whistle no longer allows pets inside the premises, The Blue Recluse likewise does not allow pets inside. The Golden Keg, allows pets inside as long as they are with their owner, under control and does not upset other patrons, and we were told that the Slaughted Lamb welcomes pets, as does The Shady Lady. We also promised to let the public know that the Watchmen are looking for new recruits, I imagine there is some requirements, but besides being able to tie your own shoe-laces, then we are not entirely sure what they might be, contact Corporal Ford if you are interested.