uring my evening walk I decided to sit my rather sizeable behind down near the top of Lion's Rest and watch the sculpted garden and the fancy water feature. I had been sitting there for a bit when I heard angry voices behind me, upon turning halfway I spotted two watchmen, one of them, whom I recognized as Corporal Ford was chewing out the other one (who later turned out to be Constable Emsworth) for wearing a shirt with short sleeves. I turned back to the water in front of me and spotted a figure out on a pillar. Fishing. Unsure about the laws regarding fishing in the Lion's Rest's water features I addressed the two watchmen and asked for a clarification on the legality of what the man was currently doing. Initially this caused a bit of confusion and I was told that a permit was five silver, but once I managed to guide their attention towards the fishing figure out in the water, they shifted into a higher gear and started approaching the figure: Corporal Ford:] .. what in the hell is that thing? Awrite, Constable Randy, that one seems very nutty. How do we approach? H. Lester: Carefully. There is a current here. Corporal Ford: Is yer name Constable Randy? H. Lester: Oh sorry. yeah. no. I'll be quiet. Constable Emsworth: With nutcases sir? Generally uuuuh we don't... Sah! Corporal Ford: Perhaps we can get his attention, somehow. Randy, uh, y'got yer whistle? Constable Emsworth: Aye sir! Corporal Ford: Alright, well, blow him away! At this point Constable Emsworth blew. And he blew with the dedication of a true watchman, going cross-eyed and purple in his face from all the blowing. But it did not stop him, he just kept on blowing and I had to let go of my camera to cover my hears. Corporal Ford: Blow, Randy! Blow it like I've shown you! And he kept blowing. Eventually he had to stop though, panting, and gasping for air, slightly bend over, exhausted from blowing so much and so hard. Without the high-pitched whistling Corporal Ford tried to get in touch with the figure out on the pillar by shouting, not crossing the water in between them seemed like the wise choice, afterall, the water feature includes a man-made waterfall and the current can be quite treacherous. Corporal Ford: Get over here, darn you! You're under arrest in the name of King Anduin and his rightfully owned gutter fish! Constable Emsworth: Aye! The groundskeeper doesn't throw 'em in there just so you can fish 'em up! Corporal Ford: You're ruining lives! Constable Emsworth: His name's Jerry! Lovely man! Can't hold his drink though! The figure out in the water apparently decided the best plan of action right here was to knock over the bucket with the fish he had caught, spilling them back into the water from where he caught them to begin with. Corporal Ford: What's he doing, Randers!? Constable Emsworth: -Not- what we're bloody asking of him sir that's fer certain! Corporal Ford: Well.. Constable Emsworth: You sleazeball! Get them back in that bucket! But -not- with the rod! Corporal Ford: .. aye, fish like a man! The Mysterious figure pointed to a spot behind the two watchmen. About the same place yours truly was standing. Mysterious Fishing Figure (MFF): Whoa! What's THAT? Corporal Ford: Not falling for that! It's just a big, bloated journalist! This should have bothered me more than it did. In hindsight I should be offended. But I AM a tad on the big side. Constable Emsworth: Oldest trick in the book! I'm not falling for what I myself use to get out of harms way! Corporal Ford: Right, Randy; we have to improvise. Mysterious Fishing Figure (MFF): Fine, fi- The figure had decided to give up and turn himself in, facing the watchmen he took a step out into the water. The water with the before mentioned strong current, and sure enough, slipped and fell into the water, carried out over the edge of the waterfall with the current. Corporal Ford:: .. or not. He's dead. Constable Emsworth: A fitting punishment I'd say! Corporal Ford: I s'pose that solved itself. While the watchmen congratulated themselves on a job well done, I noticed the figure down below, wading back to land. Corporal Ford: Soaked and Loaded. Corporal Ford: .. there's a headline. H. Lester: Not bad. Not bad. I don't think he is dead. He walks. They of course completely ignored this, getting their names and a good shot of their profiles seemed to be more paramount. H. Lester: Ford, yes? Corporal Ford: Aye. Corporal Ford. That's Constable Emsworth. Corporal Ford: City Watch, sir! The figure, still set on taunting the two watchmen is now once more fishing, this time down below the waterfall, and I tried once more to stear their attention towards this fact. Corporal Ford: Well, be sure to get our good profiles fer this. We've got a reputation to uphold. H. Lester: Uhu.. you know.. Constable Emsworth: Aye. Make sure to note that the Corporal has a beard now, instead of a stache. H. Lester: He is down there fishing. Corporal Ford: .. by the way, if my ex-wife is reading yer paper, be sure to include this: Sheila, I'm not paying alimony for your slob son, so- Corporal Ford: .. he's just holding on to his one earthly possession. Besides, he does it again, he's getting the chop. Corporal Ford: The city may sleep at ease- H. Lester: Of course.. and Sheila.. is a slob? Was that the quote? Corporal Ford: .. no, no, Sheila Thelma Kremple! H. Lester: That is a mouthful. But a Slob? Corporal Ford: .. tell that bitch that I'm not paying a damn copper for Ricky or his sister! Corporal Ford: She can stop sending me letters because she won't see a copper as long as I'm walking these streets! Corporal Ford: .. I didn't ask for children, she stocked up on them! Right, uh, King's honour. H. Lester: Right.. And here the watchmen wandered off, resuming their patrol only to moments later having to face down a scary looking bear. A watchman's job is never finished it seems and the figure is still fishing, but at least, dear reader, we learned that watchmen are trained to blow. And blow hard.