Apple Red A column for advice to the common folks by the common lass

Column not accepting new letters

Due to Redgwyn Hearthland far to early demise we are not accepting letters for this column currently. We are working on a solution and a potential replacement to carry on her work. Apologies.

Introduction

I have many customers who over time share their stories of heartache and concerns. With discretion and anonymity some will be shared here as well as letters and questions which are sent to the newspaper. Enjoy the reading and I hope it will inspire you to send in your own questions. Know you are not alone and we all struggle with everyday problems in our everyday life.
Editor's note: Regwyn Hearthland is a navy captain's daughter, barmaid and manager in the Blue Recluse. If you want to send a letter and ask any questions concerning the everyday struggles in a relationship and wish to get advice from someone not up there but one of the folks, you can submit your letter to Redgwyn Hearthland.

"Anna from dwarf district." asks:

Madame Red. Me and my man long for children but I do not dare to stop taking the herbs preventing me from carrying a child. He is a worgen and though in full control of his abilities I fear what will happen to the child. Is it really true a child of a worgen will not be born with claws and fur? I am not that old yet and I am sure I would die in childbirth if I have to carry a wolf in my belly. Please give me advice.

-"Anna from dwarf district."

Answer

Hello Anna. You are not the only couple who have had these concerns and there are many rumors and miss interpretations of the worgen curse/blessing. However I hope I can ease your mind. According to worgen researchers: “ children of those corrupted with the curse are not born with the curse and have to be infected by being bitten or drinking worgen blood in order to attain a worgen form” In other words, you and your man may plan for a child without these concerns. Best of luck.

"Frustrated woman" asks:

Miss Redgwyn. I have been married to my wonderful husband for three years now and everything is going great. However each morning I have to clean up furballs and dead small animals after he has been out hunting during the night with his buddies. And please, do not get me started with the hair, it's everywhere, I also want to know how I can get him to start using some kind of herb conditioner.

-"Frustrated woman"

Answer

Hello miss frustrated. To be in a relationship with a worgen has both benefits and downsides as I am sure you are aware of. There are instincts and ways we just have to learn to accept and cope with. However, that does not mean you can not find ways to make your life better. If you find furballs here and there in your house I suggest putting out some nice copper buckets that your man can cough in, instead. And the dead animals you should view as a token that he wishes to bring home gifts to you. You could cook a nice dinner the day after or in other cases sell them to a local tavern or chef and earn a few coins on them. And last but not least, to get your main to use herb conditioner. I suggest spending some time, give him massages and while doing so adding a nice salve mixed with the stalk of a Blackroot who offers a purgative effect.

"Harry Hard" asks:

Madame Red So I got this problem. My wife is a Druid or I think they call themself harvest witches. and She does full sprints in her sleep now and her savage roars wake me up every midnight!" I'm getting shit tired of this, what should I do?

-"Harry Hard"

Answer

Hello Harry Hard. I can see your problem and understand it is draining for your relationship and lack of sleep. There are different ways to approach the situation but the first thing you must ask yourself is if your wife is willing to change her habits by her own will. If she is, then I suggest a soothing herb tea at evening that also gives the side effect of deeper sleep. This would then let her body relax more and perhaps she will not wake up roaring and sprinting. However to be fully sure she needs to exercises hard before going to sleep. If this is done correct she would be worn out and does not have an urge to sprint during the night. The herb tea should contain Bogblossom who have the effect of mildly sedative and may be consumed in small qualities for the calming of nerves and encourage sleep. You may buy the pre cultivated dried powder in any well respected herb store. The original herb only grew in Outlands but has been exported and can now be found in other places. If your wife is not cooperating with your issue I suggest talking to a local spiritual minder depending on your own faith.

"Lady of Red." asks:

Dear Miss Red So, I’ve started seeing this Guy, who I feel might be bad luck. I went crab fighting the other week and named my crab after him, My Crab died almost instantly! Then I go to Brawl night, And i'm doing really well, And he turns up to watch. And I lose. I really feel he's a Bad luck charm! What should I do? Is there a spell for this, or do I just stop inviting him to things? I'm ever so worried…

-"Lady of Red."

Answer

Hello, love your nickname by the way. I see your problem and I can assure you bad luck and curses are very real. My suggestion is to do a full investigation. Find out if he might be cursed or something else that he carries is cursed because it's clear to me, the signs are there. If you find the source it may be easier to reverse it ,however that might not always be the case. If you do not find a source you have to look at other options too. Such as bad omen. Is he really the man for you? Are the gods telling you something different? If the answer is no, and you think he could be your life partner then yes there are spells to decurse and remove bad luck. If so I suggest you seek up a witch who is skilled in these arts. Rest assured things can be done. Best of luck lady in Red.

"Anonymous Worgen." asks:

Dear Red. I am struggling a bit with my self confidence when it comes to talking to women given that I do not feel I live up to the ideal of what a worgen should be. I am not very strong or well built and I feel I'm more a bookworm than a big bad wolf. I know it should not matter but I can't stop comparing myself to the other worgens I see in Stormwind and note how puny I seem in comparison. Any advice appreciated

-"Anonymous Worgen."

Answer

Hello Mr. Anonymous Worgen. First I want to say thank you for sending your letter, I am sure there are others in a similar situation as yourself and by sending this others can understand and know they are not alone. You say you find it hard to speak to women because you might not live up to the "ideal" worgen man. Well then I like to inform you that a proper woman does not only look at his big strong body, his long fur and sharp claws. No, a proper woman also looks at his qualities in actions and words and lifestyle. It is common known we women put a lot of weight in words. And if you are a bookworm as you say, then I am pretty sure you also learned the skills of speaking words that may not only sooth but also lift and cherish a woman. I would be lying if I said the first impression does not matter but exactly that can mean many things. How you move and gesture, your posture and how you dress. There is a taste and colour for each of us. Perhaps the women you meet only want big bad wolves but then again you could ask yourself why? To get a woman for more than a casual fling, or a night in the sheets a man must provide more. Find your style, what you are proud of and what makes you special, that is the secret to your own success. And when you meet someone, take an interest in her, what she does for a living, her dreams and goals. By listening you will gain a lot. Your friend in the paper, Madame Red.

"Wife in despair" asks:

To the esteemed miss Red. I was so happy when I heard the newspaper would be up and running and I pray to the Light my letter will be read and advice given. Now to myself then, I am a good wife and mother of five and my husband works for the city guards. He does not earn much but we have a steady and good job and our children are fed. But that is where the problem starts and I do not dare to tell my neighbours or friends. On the outside our family seems presentable and good but they do not know how much I cry at night when my children are sleeping and I sit at our table alone trying to count the coins and make a living of what is left. You see, my husband is a drunk and spends all his free time at the taverns with both girls for coins and strong drinks. Please miss Red I beg you for advice. How can I get my husband to change his ways and be the man I once married?

-"Wife in despair"

Answer

Dear Wife in despair. You are a strong woman who kept five children alive and fed even with a drunk bastard for a man. You got guts and courage and now it is time to use it. When your man gets his pay you tell him to hand it over to you as any responsible married woman would do and then you are once again in control of your household. If he refuses to give you the coins do not feed him, wash his cloth or let him crawl into a warm bed. Keep your door locked until he gets his shit together. I am sure the City Guard wants presentable men and if he gets to work smelling bad, unclean and hungry his superiors will start to ask him questions he can not answer. Also, be a smart one. I am convinced by my own experience there are city guards with both high moral standards and a true will to do good for our city and its citizens. Have a chat with one of em and see if they can lend you a hand, or even ask for a conversation with a superior of mid rank. A woman has to lead from the shadows, but rest assured that not only do you sit on the most expensive gold mine, you also have the power to change things in your life. If nothing else works, come by our tavern at day time and I will offer you some other solutions.

"Your secret admirer mr D " asks:

Hello Red. I just want to know what is the best way to pick up a girl at a tavern?

-"Your secret admirer mr D "

Answer

Hello mr D. If you wishe to impress a girl you use no lies but honest charm and make sure you pay for her drinks. Food is also important and some sweets. Take interest in her words and actions. A good man is a man who knows how to treat her well. It is also important that he has a good living, because no girl wants to get involved with an unemployed slob, so pointing out that you earn enough is good, if you do. Also make sure you have washed yourself good with a proper soap, no cheap stuff because they wont do half the work. Find a nice table, hanging over the bar never impress a lass and don’t rush her, a fruit needs to be picked at the perfect time when it is ready otherwise they are sour and in worst case even poisoned.

"Lady of the coin" asks:

To Miss Red. I aint much for writing but I will give this a try and see if your worth reading abou. So me and some other girls been working the streets and have our regulars and it's all good and dandy but I just can't stand the most drunk bastards. Not only do they smell like shit they also have a tendency to be hard in their grips and it happens more then one time the idiots puked all over my outfits. I mean a girl have to make her living so can't really stop and there aint that many jobs for someone like me but how can I handle these idiots better.

-"Lady of the coin"

Answer

Hello Lady of the coin. I understand your struggles and concerns and also the fact you can not go to any of the guards for help. Your living is hard and the people you meet can be brutes in many ways. There are a few suggestions I like to give you though. One would be to get a potion from an alchemist that can be sprayed on a customer to make him more “soothing” and easy to work with. However, there is a better option. I know many of the taverns are seeking help and may offer, perhaps not better pay, but more safe work environments.

"The sleeping hammer" asks:

Miss Red I have heard you give advice when it comes to romance and love issues and I want to ask if you have any advice considering my issue. As any other grown up man I like to spend time at the Tavern drinking with my fellow co-workers and enjoy a night of good ale with friends. However anytime I meet a nice lass and we attempt to rumble in the hey my hammer wont work with me. He just seems to be sleeping even if I am in a good mood and have a pretty one beside me. Got any advice for that?

-"The sleeping hammer"

Answer

Hello Sleeping hammer. The first thing I would make sure is that you have visited a mender or herb woman to make sure you have not gotten any disease or other damage to your tool. Physical problems should be solved physically and if your hammer wont rise from a few ales it’s time to make an appointment. I would also recommend starting with getting some Earthroot in combination with deviate fish. This can then stimulate muscle growth, enhance performance and improve skeletal structure. If the problem still remains I suggest visiting the darker districts and the coin girls who can do amazing work. ( the last sentence have been scribbled over ) In the end you can not do a proper work if your tools are broken.

"Handsome Harry " asks:

Hi Red. I got a question for ya. Why do girls look so, so much prettier when I drink then in the next morning?

-"Handsome Harry "

Answer

Hello Handsome Harry. The answer is simple, liquid with alcohol puts you in a good mood and with a positive attitude on life and “girl things” turn less complicated and worth living. The girls are as pretty in the morning as in the evening if you add a pint to your breakfast.

"Hard working lad" asks:

Miss Red I am a young lad who worked hard all my life at my da`s store and I think I have managed to make a good living for a future woman and one day I will take over our family store. But I struggle so hard to meet a good girl and every time I try to speak to one I lose words and start to stutter. I hate myself for this and now it has gotten to such a big problem even in the store because if I meet a pretty girl there I almost forget what I am doing. The only time I feel confident enough is when I have gotten enough drinks in my body so I do not care any more. But the girls I meet at the taverns are not really the type of girl I want to have for the future. What should I do?

-"Hard working lad"

Answer

Hello young hardworking lad and thank you for sending me your question. It seems to me you are a man who has a good future and something to offer the proper girl. Having an ale or two is every man’s right and you should enjoy it without having to use it as a solution. There are other ways to solve your little issue, I say. First of all, aint no shame to meet and greet the tavern working girls, so get that out of your system. Besides there are some taverns who have proper establishments and not just girls working their legs for coins. The answer to ya problem is practise and self confidence. Come by the Blue Recluse and we’ll get you free lessons on how to socialize in a proper way while we give you some fresh juice and pie. The ale you can come back and drink with your lads later on.
Due to Redgwyn Hearthland far to early demise we are not accepting letters for this column currently. We are working on a solution and a potential replacement to carry on her work. Apologies.